Despite the fact that polygamous marriages are controversial in modern times, some indigenous ethnic groups in the Eastern Cape endorse this form of marriage and continue to practice it.
Tefo Sobuthongo has three wives and 18 children. He believes that polygamy is an African culture that is accepted in terms of the customary law. However gender activists are opposed to this culture, as they believe it is a violation of women’s rights.
Bishop Sobuthongo is a husband to three wives. The 79 year old has 18 children, and says he does not know the exact number of his grandchildren. Although he is a respected religious leader and an academic, he strongly believes in this tradition.
“I’ve got three wives, the fine has got six children, the second one has got five children, all alive and the third one has got one child alive and as I am I have got other children outside and they are all 18 in total,” Sobuthongo explains.
Most believe this tradition has patriarchal elements. Sobuthongo also believes one should be able to control his wives.
“When you are a man, take a wife again and take another one and take another one and control them and tell them how you are going to control the. If someone cannot do that let her go, take someone who will survive to be under control,” Sobuthongo added.
His family believes mutual respect, submissiveness and love are key in polygamy.
“My advice to the women outside there is that they must respect their husbands. They must make their happy. If your husband is cheating to show long face but just be happy and never and ever express your dissatisfaction about his cheating tendencies, just be happy and you will be happy forever, take it from me,” says Mamorena Sobuthongo, wife.
“Among the family, we are the happiest family. He is the leader of the family, Whenever we have problems, we are reporting to him among the wives I never heard any problem. We also vist one another now and then. We also talk over the phone. I have never heard anything wrong,” says Ntombifikile Moleko, Bishop’s sister.
Gender activists are opposed to polygamy and regard it as an extreme form of patriarchy.
“It’s an extreme form of undermining the rights of women. It’s a patriarchal and has a long term , negative impact to the children that are born out of a Polygamous marriage. We have been asking men to respect women because young men will grow up thinking that this is cool and this is a way to do things. We are opposed to any form of cultural practices that seeks to oppress women in our society,” says Nomsisi Bata , Gender activist.
The mixed feelings about this practice continue to dominate discussions in conservative and modern groups in society.
VIDEO SOPOTLIGHT ON POLYGAMOUS MARRIAGES IN EASTERN CAPE
