As we celebrate Heritage Day, Aphiwe Honono looks at how an interracial family defines culture and heritage – Does colour matter? It’s a sunny Saturday afternoon and my sisters and I are going to my cousin Sipho and Sister in law Teresa’s (or Terry as she is affectionately known) for lunch. On our way there, I can’t help but look forward to the warmth, good food and love that fill that home. Sipho (Black -Xhosa, 30) and Terry (White-Italian,32) are a young interracial couple, they have known each other over 15years, married for 6 and have 3 handsome boys Taye (8) Siya (15months) and Luca (3weeks). We finally arrive at our destination and as predicted the family is waiting to greet us outside, Teresa was busy preparing lunch while Sipho was outside kicking around a ball with the boys. We say our hello’s and head inside to start the interview… Sipho and Terry had been mutual friends for about 3years when they lost touch for about a year before meeting a friends housewarming party, they quickly picked up where they left off and got married in January 2007. They are now raising their family in the northern suburbs of Johannesburg. Terry recalls how Sipho always wore a muscle top and new rock shoes when they first started dating, “I hated them” she jokingly says. They both have funny stories to tell about when they started dating. Terry remembers a day where they were walking in a mall hand in hand; Sipho saw his mother approaching and flung her across the mall running to his mother. Sipho recalls an incident where they both had to spend a night at Terry’s parents home and Sipho was allocated a room next to her parents main bedroom, Terry’s father had activated an alarm that gave Sipho the fright of his life in the middle of the night. “I must have been turning during my sleep and did something to set if off” Sipho laughs.
My mom is white, my dad is brown and I am coloured
Both their parents didn’t immediately take a liking to the relationship. “It was easier with Sipho’s Father as he was more accepting and open to the idea of us being together,” Terry says. Sipho however, found it harder to get along with Terry’s Father and easier with her mom as he had met her in the first 3years that they were just friends. Six years into their relationship Taye was born, they refer to him as their “love child.” “We were so happy we were going to be parents, I was 24 and Msiga(as she calls her husband) was 22” Terry says, “Taye in a way brought the two families together. “ I ask Taye how he sees himself, what is his ethnicity? “My mother is white, my daddy is brown and I am coloured.” he says. “We don’t use the word black” Terry chirps in. Six years later, Siyasanga *(who I named) was born, his name means “We welcome and appreciate the gift of a child.” “He was a planned baby, we knew we wanted a younger sibling for Taye and it was just the natural thing to do,” says Terry. three weeks ago the family welcomed their third member Luca, who was born a year after Siya “Luca was our surprise baby, sure we knew what we were doing but we didn’t expect Terry to conceive so quickly considering how long it took with Siya” Sipho explains. Asked if they plan on having anymore babies the couple agreed NOT now but definitely in the near future. Sipho and Terry say they try to raise their kids according to their Xhosa and Italian heritage, “Taye understands Xhosa and Italian but can only respond in English, English is the medium language used at home. We hope Siya and Luca will be more fluent in both, “says Terry. Sipho and Terry have been together for years and are a good team, they say they are each others best friends and given a chance there is nothing they would change about their lives. “We still get people who stare at us when we are out together, sometimes its people just curious to see what our kids look like.” “The stares aren’t as bad as they were 12years ago, people seem to have become more accepting, I have never seen colour when I look at Sipho” says Terry, “colour has never been an issue for us” they both agree.
– By Aphiwe Honono
