Concealing a sexual crime against a child in the family could result in an arrest. This comes after the Gauteng Department of Community Safety says although incest or child sexual assault is not a new phenomenon, the COVID-19 lockdown intensified the crime.
In many cases, rape in families is never reported to the police.
Reporter Pearl Magubane visited a family that has been torn apart by alleged rape incidents. A mother, her daughter and a cousin. Their names have been changed to protect the minor’s identity.
On the 3rd of March 2013, Carol opened her home, in Johannesburg, to neighbours so they could watch a soccer match. It was a fun day and drinks were flowing.
After the match, the guests left, except for two young girls who she had befriended and a married neighbour. Carol says the friend left to buy more alcohol. Little did she know the married neighbour had a different agenda.
“He leaned over to kiss me. I asked him what he was doing. Before I knew it, he had overpowered me and just raped me on my sofa.”
When her friend returned just after the alleged rape, the neighbour quickly left. She reported the incident to the police. He was arrested the same night. However, despite DNA evidence and her testimony, the key witness disappeared when she was due to testify. The court ruled in favour of the alleged perpetrator, who had insisted it was consensual sex. Carol says the not-guilty verdict, which was only reached four years later, turned her life upside down.
“I did not get the justice I needed, therefore, I still don’t have closure. I still suffer from severe depression and still on Schedule 5 medication. Eight years later, I still go for therapy and still get hospitalized at mental institutions. I can’t even tell you how many times I have been in hospital. I lost my apartment and I drink alcohol on a daily to numb my pain tears.”
Her teenage daughter went through the same ordeal. The alleged perpetrator, a cousin, allegedly sexually molested her when she was 4-years-old, and again when she was 9-years-old, this time at her grandmothers’ house.
“I was a little girl, he was a few years older and I did not know anything. My grandmother said I shouldn’t tell my mom because she was in hospital and still struggling to deal with her rape. It has been very painful. I’m still not coping. I felt nobody loves me because they were protecting him instead of me.”
She only told her mother when she was 12-years-old. Now 17, the relationship between mother and daughter is strained. The teenager is accused of being ill-disciplined.
Tragedy struck the family once again.
A cousin, 21-year-old Thando, was allegedly raped by a family member just a month ago. The matter was reported to the police.
Thando says it’s been a traumatic period. She’s since moved in with an aunt.
“I can’t be at home. I become sad and withdrawn. I just keep thinking about it. I thought I was fine until last week when the police came and I had to go point out where my cousin lives. It was traumatic, but I’m happy he has been arrested and maybe justice will prevail.”
Trauma, shame, regret, fear – these are just some of the emotions rape victims experience.
Connie Ramathibela, Ikhaya Lethemba Head of Professional Services at Gauteng Community Safety, says child sexual abuse or incest is prevalent in many families.
Ramathibela says it has been exacerbated by the hard lockdown in 2020 when people couldn’t leave their homes.
“It is so prevalent and I think even with COVID it has escalated as well because children were not going to school. They were stuck with their male family relatives. It happens a lot.”
Ramathibela says perpetrators often get away as families sweep the problem under the carpet.
“It does not get reported more often because the child is threatened. The families prefer to settle the matter out of court. Either because the person who did this is a breadwinner or to save face because it is something that cannot go out there. Sometimes they blame the victim and protect the perpetrator, which is so unfortunate.”
Ramathibela says these family secrets often haunt the victims.
“It becomes very difficult for the victims to cope because of the fear and it causes trauma. Sometimes, people who experience sexual abuse as children, they don’t speak out till a later stage when they become independent. They can have problems with relationships and there is also physical damage that can occur, like problems with conceiving. Maybe isibeletho was damaged or she was made to do an abortion. Without counselling a person can choose the wrong lifestyle or depend on substances to cope. The person can also be an abuser themselves. This also happens to boys. The person can struggle to cope,” Ramathibela explains.
If the matter is reported and the child doesn’t feel comfortable living in that same environment, it is in the best interest of the child to be taken to a youth care centre for protection. If you, as a parent or family member conceal the rape, you too can be arrested as an accomplice to the crime.
